All aboard the Ghost Bus: Welcoming Back Familiar Faces

By Bob Ford Special to

Articles and Podcasts are complementary from those helping to preserve our history: Nodaway Valley Bank, Eagle Communication, Rupp Funeral Home and Anonymous Buffs. To comment or join them in supporting, contact Bob at robertmford@aol.com.

“Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the inaugural ghost bus tour of historic St. Joseph, Missouri. Let me introduce myself, I’m your spirited host, St Jo’s own madame, Lizzie King.”

“We are here to welcome the departed who have all been influenced by St. Joseph and take them on a tour of the city today.”

“Let me introduce the brave souls who have signed on this year.”

“Two strapping young men in the first row are none other than Lewis and Clark.”

“Well, Miss King we came through here in 1804 and wanted to see what had become of the place.” replied the duo.

“Boys it’s Lizzie, and yes the town developed into a very important City, thanks in part to you both.”

“Across the aisle is Johnny Fry and Mickey Mantle, I understand Johnny, you were the first Pony Express rider to head West from St. Jo with mail for California. Johnny my old friend, you look a little worse for wear, did you answer the hand bill, “orphans preferred,” when you signed on?”

“Yes ma’am, back in 61, this was a crazy wide open town. I heard it’s bigger and wanted to see for myself,” Johnny said.

“Now Mickey, what brought you back to St Jo?”

“Lizzie, I hit a ball in Phil Welch harder and further than any other ever, but I only got a triple!”

“What?” Lizzie laughed.

“Yep, it hit a light pole in the outfield and the ball fell to the ground. They almost threw me out at third! I want to see that stadium again.”

“You certainly can but … how about an autograph later?” Lizzie winked.

“Well look here, in the next seats are definitely an odd couple, William C. Quantrill and Michael K. Goetz.”

“Gentleman, welcome, what do you both remember about ole St. Jo?”

“Quantrill here ma’am, I came to St Jo in 62’, slipped into town in a Union uniform to buy ammo for the boys and do a little look-see for a potential hit … but I liked the City, so we passed.”

“Well Lizzie, good to see you,” Goetz uttered.

“I got to St. Jo in 1859 and realized it’s best to be in a gateway town than a destination to brew my beer. So here I stayed. Built my brewery along Black Snake Creek. Today, I wanted to look around and reminisce, then perhaps have a cold one.”

“Well Mr. Goetz you and your beer were very popular back in the day. Psst, I’ll certainly join you for a libation later!” Lizzie leaned in and whispered.

“Now here are the lovely Owen sisters. Ladies I know you. You lived and became famous in St. Jo, writing about nature and all those adventures, making waves in a man’s world! Welcome, and what a grand-looking mausoleum you have at Mt. Mora, hope you didn’t leave the door open?”

King scanned across the bus, “John Wilkes Booth and Abraham Lincoln sitting next to one another?”

“You didn’t think I’d let Booth sit behind me!” Lincoln quipped.

“Both of you were past visitors, what do you remember about St Jo, Mr. President?”

“Fun place in 1859, got a good haircut, rode here on the new railroad. It was a frontier town with a touch of class. I like to walk around places and meet people.” Lincoln shrugged.

“My Mr. President, you are a tall drink of water sir, but I’m afraid you will have to take your hat off. You’re blocking Walter Cronkite’s view.” Lizzie grinned.

“Mr. Booth, you were an actor who came to town, what do you remember?”

“Snow … I couldn’t leave for two weeks, everything was covered, and I thought I’d come back and see the City without snow,” retorted Booth. “Plus, I heard Lincoln was invited and I just wanted to say, Sic semper tyrannis!”

“Be nice boys,…the war is over!” declared Lizzie.

Across the aisle sat Edmond Eckels and the founder of St. Jo, Joseph Robidoux, who were taking it all in.

“First, Mr. Eckels, many of the souls on the bus are here to see the buildings you designed, they’re amazing.”

“Thank you Lizzie, I loved my time in St. Jo and I wanted to see how City Hall, the library and a few of my mansions were holding up.”

“And you Joseph Robidoux, you started all this,” motions Lizzie.

“Lizzie, I raised my family and this town together, looks pretty good these days too!” observed Joe.

“Turning about, I see two legends Mr. Jesse James and the Hanging Judge Isaac Parker.”

“Welcome gentleman!” Kind said.

“If Bob Ford gets on this bus I’m leaving,” said Jesse, looking around.

“No Jesse, he wasn’t invited.” Lizzie assured.

“Judge Parker, what brings you back?”

“I heard Jesse was invited, you know St. Jo still has a bunch of good sturdy trees!” smiled the Judge.

“But some coward already killed me!” Jesse reminds the Judge.

“And finally, Mayor & General M. Jeff Thompson with Walter Cronkite Jr, welcome gents.”

“Jeff, you left your ostrich feathered hat last night, here you go.”

“Thanks Lizzie, ah, well … I love this town. After my military career I came back, now I want to see what it’s turned into.”

“In the final seat is the most trusted man in America, St Jo’s own Walter Cronkite.”

“Yes Lizzie I wanted to come back, I have many great memories about growing up in St Joseph,” Cronkite delivered.

“Welcome to you all. But before we get started. I have a surprise! Being that all of us are dead, we couldn’t have a deceased driver, so I got someone with St Joseph ties who’s very much alive to pilot this bus. Ladies and gentlemen Taylor Swift will chauffeur us today!”

Booth squawks, “who’s that?”

Abe joked, “somebody with actual talent.”

“Thank you Lizzie, I had a fabulous time in St Jo. It was one of my first big concerts right here at Trails West, I was like 17!” smiles Taylor.

“Have you been back since the concert?” wondered Lizzie.

“No, but I have plans to be here this summer, I’ll be at Chiefs training camp, wearing #87,” Taylor blushed.

“Well, I want to thank everyone for coming,” as Lizzie walked up the aisle.

“OH!, who pinched me? Mr. President!”

“I assure you it wasn’t me … I’m honest!” Abe shakes his head.

So starts the Ghost Tours around historic St. Joseph.

“If you see us cruising the city wave, but sorry no pictures, we wouldn’t show up anyway.” Lizzie proclaims.

I wonder who will sign on for next year?