No. 3: De Kraai’s death casts dark shadow

By Rex Martin St. Joseph News-Press

Few stories, if any, struck such an emotional chord with the St. Joseph area in 2010 than the tragic death of St. Joseph police officer Dan De Kraai.

“I guess just being a single parent,” Laura De Kraai, Mr. De Kraai’s widow, said when asked what daily challenges she still deals with. “We always used to joke that I was a single parent because of his career, working nights. But now, the actual reality of being a single parent.”

The by-all-accounts ideal officer was shot and killed on Sept. 15. Adding to the heartrending loss is the fact his life wasn’t taken by a violent criminal recklessly trying to evade police and resist capture. Instead, his life was lost shortly after a training exercise had concluded, when fellow Special Response Team member Jason Strong simply mixed up his service firearm with the practically identical simunitions firearm used during training.

Buchanan County Prosecutor Dwight Scroggins didn’t see enough evidence to charge Mr. Strong in a criminal case, and Mr. Strong has been relegated to administrative duty. That assignment is ongoing for an indefinite period of time.

The stories may have faded from the front page within a few weeks, but now Mrs. De Kraai is left raising their 5-year-old daughter, Lexi. She says because of her age, Lexi may not have fully understood what happened to her father at the time.

“She understands where daddy is at now, and she realizes that (it’s permanent),” Mrs. De Kraai said. “She talks about him every day and she knows that he died doing what he wanted to do. She is a little spitting image of him.”

Mr. Strong was a close friend of the family before the accident, and still is a friend today.

“Yes, absolutely,” Mrs. De Kraai said. “Him, along with many other officers that were considered uncles. He is still Uncle Strong to my daughter.

“I’m still really close with a lot of Dan’s friends and I’m usually down at the Police Department at least once a week, just to touch base and check in. They’re still my extended family.”

The day of the accident, Mrs. De Kraai suddenly had her life made public — something she never sought — and found people rushing to give her comfort, any assistance they could and kind words.

“It was hard to take at first,” she said. “My husband and I were very private people to begin with, and then to be put out there, it was so hard. When so many people reached out, not just financially but also with cards and comments, it was hard to accept. I felt like I didn’t need any help, but looking back, I wouldn’t be where I am today without those things.”

She still receives random letters and cards through the mail from not just the St. Joseph area, but Kansas City as well. Lexi was even sent some Christmas gifts from caring citizens.

The legacy of Mr. De Kraai isn’t only being kept alive within his family. He was added to the St. Joseph Police Department’s monument to fallen officers. His years of service to the area have also inspired several fundraisers in his honor, and the Dan D. De Kraai Scholarship was founded for those wishing to pursue a career in law enforcement.

Missouri Western State University’s Law Enforcement Academy — where Mr. De Kraai studied, trained and graduated — is honoring him with The Dan De Kraai Tenacity in Training Award. The accolade is hoped to be ready to be given in spring 2011, as the specific parameters for recipients are still being worked out. It will not necessarily be awarded each semester, but only given out if there is a worthy candidate. The recipients will be those students who exemplify traits Mr. De Kraai showed during his career, including dedication to the job, professionalism and striving to excel in every aspect of policing.

Mr. De Kraai will also be honored in May when his name is added to the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial for fallen officers. Mrs. De Kraai said she, Lexi and other family members plan on making the trip to Washington, D.C., for the commemoration. Mr. De Kraai’s name will join those of nearly 19,000 officers who have sacrificed their lives in protection of this nation and its people, dating back to the first known death in 1792. He will be the 13th member of the St. Joseph Police Department added to the monument.

Mrs. De Kraai said she and her family are still grieving and recovering. She admits that life for her and Lexi hasn’t returned to a sense of “normal,” and may never do so in the wake of the tragedy.

“I’m trying to create a new normal for my daughter, and we look forward to what 2011 will bring,” she said. “There is a Bible verse I like to use, Proverbs 31:25, ‘Strength and dignity are her clothing and she smiles at the future.’ I use that in my daily life. Things aren’t always going to be easy, but you have to … know that God will help you through anything in your life.

“I find strength in my daughter and I think she finds strength in me. Things will eventually get easier. You just have to put your best foot forward.”

Rex Martin can be reached at rex.martin@newspressnow.com.

St. Joseph News-Press file photo