We get what we settle for

By Mark Lane
Submitted to Corner Post

Kent and Gary were born just five days apart. Their families lived near each other and were of similar means. They weren’t just playmates and classmates, they were cousins and best friends. Their interests were very closely aligned. It was often said throughout the first 18 years of their lives, where you saw one, you’d see the other.

After high school the boys went to separate colleges, but both earned business degrees. By age 30, each of them was married. To this day, Gary and Kent keep in touch regularly, and even vacation together annually. Their families enjoy each other’s company, too.

To outsiders, however, the lives of Gary and Kent appear quite different. One returned to their hometown after college and took a job with a business there. He and his wife live in a modest suburban home and have five children. He’s very involved in the community’s civic and youth organizations.

The other accepted a job with a big corporation, moving to four cities scattered around the country as he advanced in the ranks. He and his wife have one child. They live very comfortably in a gated neighborhood. Travel commitments and relocations have prevented him from being very involved in civic or service on the local level.

Is either better off than the other? Who’s to say? They both gave up something to get something else. Both men put a value on options and acted accordingly. Each admits that he has thought about how his life might be different had choices been reversed. Yet both men doubt that, given the choice, they would do things differently. They both got what they settled for.