We Just Disagree

By Charles Christian

A break-up song from the 1970s has the singer lamenting about his ex, “We just disagree.”

The chorus of the song begins this way: “So, let’s leave it alone because we can’t see eye to eye; there’s only you and me, and we just disagree.”

Break-up songs are always sad. However, I wish the sentiment of this song would become more contagious. Instead of demonizing his ex, or making her the “enemy,” he simply admits that they simply disagree and that they don’t need to attack each other further. They can, as the old saying goes, “agree to disagree.”

It’s probably obvious where I am going with this. We are in an environment filled with disagreement. Some of these are big issues, and big issues are certainly worth debating. However, most of the things we fight about, usually on social media, really aren’t worth making too big of a fuss about. They certainly aren’t worth losing friends or alienating family members.

We are all given the gift of being able to hold a particular view, to have an opinion. Sometimes our opinions are popular. Sometimes they are not. Most of the time and on most issues, if we really try, we can disagree agreeably. We can walk away from an exchange of ideas and opinions and, instead of making the other person into an “enemy,” we can say, “We just disagree.”

The Bible is filled with people who disagree with one another. Both Testaments of the Christian scriptures contain serious disagreements between people with strong opinions. Sometimes, those disagreements even caused temporary splits among people. In the Old Testament, brothers Jacob and Esau disagreed about who should receive their father’s inheritance. In the New Testament, Paul and Barnabas disagreed over a young missionary named John Mark and his capabilities to do the work of helping start churches.

Paul, at the end of his life, would reconcile with John Mark, even calling him “valuable to the ministry” (2 Timothy 4:11). In that same letter (called 2 Timothy), Paul writes, “Avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they only generate strife” (2:23).

Even in our times of quarreling and disagreement, we are to “be gentle to all” (Galatians 5:20).

So, although it is normal to develop opinions, even strong ones, and it is normal to face opposition to those opinions, it is unnecessary to let those disputes become walls we build between ourselves and others. We should be open to listening to actual facts, and even changing our opinions when the facts don’t support us. Also, we are certainly free to be clear about why we hold the views and opinions we hold.

However, as people of faith who are called to value others, sometimes we should just acknowledge our differences, walk away with respect and say, “We just disagree.” That is especially true during this active political season, but it should be true every day.