When — not if — we disagree
By Charles Christian
Some of the earliest recorded documents in human history include descriptions of conflict.
Sacred documents like the Bible introduce us to a consistent array of human conflicts, even as the overall story of redemption progresses.
Thankfully, the Bible also contains approaches for resolving conflicts that will inevitably arise among humans. Having a conflict with one another is neither unnatural nor is it necessarily an evil thing. At times in both the Old and New Testaments, good people disagree. These are uncomfortable, of course, but they do not always lead to permanent damage to the people involved or their relationship with each other. Instead of taking the quick and often violent way out of conflict, as too many often do (even in the Bible), we have instances where people disagree, part ways for a while and then find ways to reconcile and move forward.
This is an especially important trait in a world where we tend to demonize or attack those who have even the slightest disagreements with us. All people, especially those of faith, can learn how to disagree without violence, dismissing another person’s view and attacking a person simply because they disagree with us.
In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul was a prominent leader and writer. He was as much responsible for the spread of early Christianity as just about anyone in the first century. He and another follower of Jesus named John Mark — a younger Christian — parted ways due to an argument between the two. Paul felt John Mark was being prejudiced toward a certain group (see Act 15 for the full story).
This split could have disrupted much of the effective ministry of the entire early church. However, two things happened. First, a mutual friend and Christian leader named Barnabas intervened (Acts 15:39-40). Barnabas took John Mark in one direction, while Paul and a leader named Silas went in the opposite direction. Both pairs were effective in spreading the message of Christianity and planting new churches.
The second thing that happened was forgiveness. Jumping ahead to the end of Paul’s life, before Paul was put to death for his faith by the Roman Emperor, Paul asks for John Mark to visit him in prison. Paul writes, “Bring John Mark with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry” (2 Timothy 4:11). In the years since their split, forgiveness did its work, likely with a little help from their friends.
Finally, reconciliation happened. This third step requires both people to put aside the hurts of the past and find a way forward with a new understanding of each other and a sense of the value of the other person.
More of this process and less of the attacking and even violence that often accompanies disagreement can make our world a brighter place.
