Not everyone loves Valentine’s Day

By Kyle Schmidt

While love is in the air for many right now, for some Valentine’s Day is more likely to bring feelings of loneliness and depression.

For those who are single, seeing celebrations of couples in stores, on social media and just about everywhere else at this time of year can take a toll on mental health. To help with the skewed mindset that being in a relationship equates with success in life, Katie Miron, director of counseling at Missouri Western State University, said she reminds those without a partner to focus on that sometimes a switch in mindset is all that’s needed.

“People think of Valentine’s Day and they think of romantic partner and not, friendships or not spending time with family or spending time with community,” she said. “And so a lot of times just a different mindset with that, you know, can take away some of that loneliness.”

Switching your mindset about a day you have thought of in the same way for years is easier said than done. Drew Fisher, a licensed counselor and the owner of Fisher Counseling Services in Downtown St. Joseph, offered some insight.

“What I always say is a lot of times being not in a relationship, it’s an opportunity for us to really kind of focus on ourselves,” he said. “Really grow, really focus on who we are as a person and what do we need to really kind of help support us elsewhere.”

The phrase “work on myself” is tossed around a lot, so Fisher offered examples.

“Working on yourself is truly trying to find what makes you a happy person by yourself,” he said. “Relationships don’t really bring you happiness that is more of an internal monologue. And if you do find somebody, don’t put a lot of pressure on it.”

While younger people tend to be the focus of a lot of Valentine’s Day marketing, senior citizens shouldn’t be forgotten. Some older people have lost their partners and Valentine’s Day can increase their feelings of loneliness, said Jenny Dryburgh, a social worker with Freudenthal Home-Based Healthcare.

“Whenever someone goes into a nursing home, the rate for depression can rise because they’re losing their autonomy,” Dryburgh said. “They’re now depending on somebody else and leaving their home behind, a home that they probably shared with a loved one.”

Freudenthal is helping to spread the love this Valentines Day by reaching out to the community in search of Valentine’s Day cards that can be sent to those in retirement homes. A project last year with kids making residents cards was a huge success, Dryburgh said.

“The cards from the schoolchildren, that’s something bright and it brightens their day, just to know that, ‘Hey, somebody thought about me,’” Dryburgh said. “Some people go into a facility and they they thrive. But there are those that just feel like ‘I was put where nobody cares about me.’”

Cards for senior citizens can be sent to Freudenthal at 2425 N. Woodbine Road Suite A, St. Joseph, MO, 64506.

For singles who may be feeling down as the holiday approaches, Miron suggests calling up a friend and making plans for Feb. 14 or a nearby date to enjoy time together.

And Fisher said if feelings become overwhelmingly negative, people should reach out for help if it is needed.

“If you are struggling with being alone or isolated, people go to counseling for less reasons and you might be able to benefit from that,” he said.